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You need to be able to tell the difference between a silly nickname and an abusive one.Any time your partner chooses to insult you, your appearance, your intelligence, your choices or opinions it’s emotional abuse.Go to glamour.com/go/tell-somebody for danger signs.) What not to say: "He's such a jerk! " Instead, try: "No relationship is perfect, and I know you love him.But I've noticed he doesn't always treat you well, and I'm concerned about you." If she says her boyfriend isn't abusive, or if she defends him: Hard as it is, try to listen.In this series of articles, we will explore each warning sign in more depth so that you will have a better idea about what each sign means and if you need to address a problem in your relationship.Our second early warning sign of abuse is: Insults you, calls you names This may seem like an obvious warning sign.' can get the conversation started," suggests Esta Soler, president of Futures Without Violence.If you're still unsure, try these scripts: If you suspect she's being abused, and you're approaching her for the first time: Don't focus on what a loser he is; in our survey, the top reason women stayed with an abusive partner was that they still loved him, so dismissing that love won't help. "The victim feels anger from her partner already," says Miriam Ehrensaft, Ph.